THE UNEXPECTED CRUSH

GAY SURPRISE. BY MATTHEW LUCAS BECKETT. I could feel my heart skip a beat as Gabe knocked on the door. “Jacob, let me in. We agreed not lock each other out, remember?” “Just a minute, Gabriel,” I called, knowing that he only liked Sam to call him Gabe. I look around the room. The candles are too much, too obvious, I decide and quickly put them away. I give the room one last, critical look. Everything else is perfect. Then I walk over and open the door to see Gabe's gorgeous face looking impatient and cross. “Sorry, Buddy,” I say. “I was just straightening up a bit.” This is not a total lie, even though it is also not the whole truth. Gabriel's face relaxes. “Sorry I was impatient Jacob,” he says apologetically. “I guess I'm a bit cross because Sam won't be joining us tonight.” “Oh?” I say, doing my best to look like this is news to me, even though I actually asked Laura and Martha to make sure that they kept his girl-friend away from our dorm for this evening. I don't mind that he has a girl-friend, I know he can never love me as I love him, but some time alone would be nice, and certainly tonight we need privacy. His exceptionally large nostrils sniff and then he breaks into his brilliant smile, causing my erection to harden into solidity. “Meatloaf,” he says with delight. “And you remembered that I like French Fries with it, not Mashed Potatoes.” He sniffs again. “And Garlic Bread.” One more sniff. “And Caramel Pudding. What's the occasion? You haven't made my whole favorite meal in a long time.” He pauses. “And I know when we eat here, it's always you. You just don't usually go quite this all out.” It is true that since the cafeteria closed for repairs two months ago, either I cook or we go out. I know Gay Men liking to cook is a stereotype, but for me it's also true. I decide to hold off on the full scoop. Gabe knows I'm Gay, of course, but the rest of what I want to share tonight he does not know. But I think it better to eat first, so I simply shrug. “Didn't have any classes this afternoon and decided to make a treat for my best friend,” I pause, then think and quickly add “and his girl-friend. Pity she can't join us.” I am relieved to see that he did not seem to notice my blunder. He smiles again, making between my legs even harder. “Well,,” he says. “I've been in classes all afternoon and I'm famished. So, if it's ready, let's eat.” We Say a quick Grace and then I serve both of us hot Meatloaf, French Fries and Garlic Bread. Gabe dives in with averas gusto at once, but I spend as much time looking at him and thinking about later this evening as I do eating. At first, this does not attract his attention, for he's always been more of an eater than I am. Since he is more than a foot taller than me, played football through High School and weighs close to if not more than a hundred pounds more than me (it's not a subject we discuss regularly, so I'm not sure of an exact amount) this makes sense. But when he starts on his third helping and I'm barely more than half way through my first, he stops. “Are you all right, Jacob, Jake?” he asks. It always makes me especially hard when he calls me Jake, which is why I usually insist on Jacob, and I'm already VERY hard this evening. “I'm having thirds, and you've barely touched your firsts.” I dive into my food. “Sorry, Gabriel,” Oh how I want to say 'Gabe', but it's still too early in the evening, The other girls promised they'd keep Sam away until 10, so thee is time. “Just got my mind on other things, I suppose.” Gabriel nods. “That boy in English Class today?” he suggests. Well, I can't deny that the young man who sits next to me in our English 101 Class is HOT. In strictly physical terms he's got Gabe beat by a wide margin, but my feelings for Gabe have become so much more than just physical, plus I don't even know this other young man's name. But, as now is not quite the right time yet to show my full hand, I nod. “He is HOT,” I add. “Well,” says Gabriel. “I wouldn't know about that personally. But I do know that he is your type.” “Can't deny that,” I say, leaving unsaid that while not as extreme, Gabe has many of the features that make our classmate my type. It is remarkable that my friend knows the facial features I like, apart from this young man possesses them more than anyone we've ever known, and yet has never guessed that I might be attracted to him. Of course, I reflect. He might not think that such feelings could arise between friends as old as us, since he only met Sam in High School. She's only ever let anyone here call her Sam. So I suspect her given name is something other than Samantha, but I've never found out for sure. As I've been musing, Gabe and I have devoured all of the meatloaf, French fries and garlic bread. Gabe gives me a rather sheepish look. “That was at least two meals. What would our mothers say?” We both give a slightly nervous laugh, although there is also the comfort of old friends in it. “Well,” I answer when I'm done chuckling. “They'd definitely say that we do not get any dessert. However, as they're not here, and I did make your favorite for that as well, once we've cleaned this up, let's have the pudding.” Gabe laughs, and I barely keep things in check, but do manage t do so. “Sounds good, Jake, Jacob. Sorry, I know you prefer the whole thing. Maybe someday. . .whatever his name is, will call you Jake and you'll like it.” “It's possible,” I say as we carry the dishes to the sink of our small kitchen. “Although I have no data to suggest that he is also Gay.” “True,” says Gabriel with a nod, running the hot water into the dish tub and then pouring in the soap. “But then, as close a lid as you keep on it, and I know why, you don't need to explain, no one you didn't tell would know that you're gay, either, Jacob. . . unless they spotted the glances you give certain guys, and that alone would not make them certain without confirmation.” Our hands touch in the dishwater, and it takes a mighty effort to keep things under control, but I do. “Fair point,” I say after a moment. We finish the dishes in silence, and then I serve the pudding and we sit down to dessert. This time, I make sure to match Gabe scoop for scoop, so that he won't think anything out of the ordinary is going on. After dessert is also devoured in its entirety and cleaned up and all of the dishes put away, we sit down side by side on the couch, although it is still an hour until any TV. worth watching is on, and two hours until the earliest Sam will return. “OK, Jacob” says Gabriel, turning his Strong, Gorgeous and HOT face full upon me, causing my hormones to do cartwheels and summersalts inside my tight balls and rock solid penis, but still remaining inside, with a great effort on my part. “Something has been up all evening. We've known each other too long and been best friends for all of that time for me not to notice. Are you dying? Are you leaving school? Did you get a date with whatever his name is? Are your parents moving to Africa or The Middle East? It's something big. Everything has been too perfect and you've been too evasive for it to be small or even mid range. I know you well enough to know all of that beyond doubt, but I can not read your mind. So out with it. Say what you've got to say.” I hesitate a moment. What if this ends our friendship. But I've come to far to turn back now., I decide. I turn to face my best and oldest friend full in the face, his Gorgeous face. “OK,” I say. “You're right. I have got something to say, and please hear me out before you act or react. Earlier in the evening, I wasn't thinking about that boy in English Class, I was thinking about you.” To my astonishment, no surprise at all registers on the gorgeous face before me. Although neither does acceptance, it just remains totally emotionless. I plunge on before I lose my nerve. “I've had a crush on you since our first day of High School, the first time I saw you after you got back from Europe. I've never said anything because I value you as a friend too much to risk that. I still do. But now,” I hesitate again. If I move on, there is no going back, EVER. But I've already come too far to tun back now. He is staring at me, now open mouthed, but clearly awaiting the rest. “But now,” I repeat. “I have fallen totally, head over heals in love with you, and I just can't keep it to myself any longer. I know you and Sam are an item, and I know that even if you didn't at this moment have a girl-friend, you're incapable of resipricating my attraction or my feelings, but they've all just grown so strong that I couldn't keep them to myself any longer and so I just had to tell you. I hope this doesn't end our friendship, but I'll understand if it does, and I'll certainly understand if you want a new roommate, but I just had to tell you how I feel. There, I've said it.” There is nothing more for me to say now, so I fall silent. Gabe sits, open mouthed and staring, for a very long time. I am just about to go into the bathroom and relieve my hormones when he at last speaks. “Well, Jacob,” he says, as if from a great distance. “While I wasn't exactly expecting this at the conscious level, wasn't expecting it at all there, in fact, looking back I can't exactly say that this revelation doesn't explain a lot over the past almost five years, because it does. You're right, even if I wasn't with Samuel, Sam, as she prefers, I am only capable of feeling that way, hormones and heart, about women. But. . .” he takes a deep breath. “You and I have been such good friends for so long, how could you even think even this could end that. The roommate question, though, I will have to think on. I do have to ask, and be honest, because I will understand why you would for this. Did you make sure that Sam would not be here this evening?” “Yes,” I say after a moment's hesitation. “I asked Laura and Martha to make sure she was out until 10 so that we could have this talk between just the two of us. I didn't think she'd like hearing my speel,” I laugh at the end. She'd probably have killed me. “Well, you're right about that, Jacob. She would have broken your nose and literally broken your balls. However one does that, she'd have found a way. So, what do we do now?” “Well,” I say. “In about ten minutes we turn on the television. I'm not expecting anything from you, I just needed to tell you how I feel. I leave to you how much, if anything, to tell Sam. I am relieved that we're still friends,, and you can decide about the roommate matter as and when you choose. Right now, though, if you'll excuse me, I really need to get into the bathroom.” He nods, his still somewhat uncertain expression showing that he knows that this is not a urination trip, and I quickly enter our shared bathroom. I have barely sat down on the toilet before I start ejaculating, and ejaculate so long that I am barely through on the toilet and at the sink and leaving the bathroom in time for our 9:00 TV. show. Then I sit down beside my best and oldest friend, each of us a little uncertain what to do now, and turn on the TV..