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‘THE VOICES NO ONE HEARS, PART SEVEN: GUIDE US ON OUR WAY’ By Matt (THE STORM) Lucas Beckett As Dad, Orion and I pulled into the driveway the day before graduation, I got an even bigger surprise. Dad and Orion and I came home from school to find a young teenager waiting, I wasn’t sure and didn’t want to rush to judgement about their gender, especially given my own history. “Hello,” I said, getting out of the car and seeing them staring at me. “Can I help you?” “I’m Ulises,” he said. “My parents threw me out when I insisted on beginning gender reassignment counciling, and then something just guided me here.” “How far have you come from, son?” asked Dad. “Utah,” replied the boy. We all gasped. “That’s several states away from Texas,” we all three said as one. The young boy nodded. “Yes, but I had some affirming, um, friends who helped me make the trip, so it wasn’t as dangerous as it sounds when you put it that way.” “Well,” said Dad. “In any case, I’m sure you’re hungry. Come on in and share some milk and cookies with my sons and I . . .” “I don’t want to impose,” said Ulises. “I can go. . .” “Nonsense,” said Dad kindly but firmly. “I’m not letting a friend of my youngest son’s leave our house unfed after journeying halfway across the country.” Ulises smiled broadly then. Oh, what a smile, I thought. Then shook myself mentally. He’s too young for you, I thought firmly. And he’s here for the movement, all that you’re doing too, Casey. “Are you all right, Casey Isai. . .?” Ulises began. I held up a hand. “If we’re going to be face to face from now on, it’s just Casey. In fact, to my peer friends, it’s just Case.” “I’ll start with Casey,” smiled Ulises. “That’s as informal as I can get with one of my heroes, in fact my biggest hero.” I felt my face redden and my legs starting to give way at that and was glad when Dad opened the door and we all went inside and sat down at the kitchen table for our usual after school snack. * * * “So?” asked Dad, once we all had glasses of milk and small plates in front of us and a large plate full of all kinds of cookies in the center of the table. I suddenly realized, with a jolt of sadness, that this was the last time that we would be doing this, since Orion and I were graduating tomorrow. “Tell us about your trip, Ulises?” “Well,” he said. I had to keep reminding myself to think ‘he’, because he had not even begun to physically transitioning. Like you, at the point he’s at right now, I gave myself a mental stab. “As I said, I decided to just tell my parents I was determined to start the process, and they said that I would then have to do it some where else, and then my dad literally threw me out of the house, and my mom slammed the door and then I heard a click. I still had my phone with me, so I called a friend and managed to spend a few nights at her place, but then I just felt this tug, OK guidance from above, to come find you, Casey, and MR. and MRS. Samuel and MR. Samuel the younger. . .”
 “I’m just Orion,” my big brother cut in. The young boy nodded. “And Orion, and so with the help of several friends, I got a plain ticket, got here and then took a cab to exactly here. I can see there are no more bed rooms, so I’ll. . .” “Sleep on the sofa bed, at least a few nights,” said Dad. “I insist.” “Yes, MR. Samuel,” said Ulises, paling and I noticed his palms sweating. “No need to be nervous, Kid,” I gave my broadest, friendliest smile. “We’re all your friends here.” Ulises nodded and his breathing slowed a bit, but not quite to a normal rate “So, what’s happening around here?” he asked. “Well,” said Orion. “My Kid Brother and I are graduating from high school tomorrow.” He looked at our dad. “I told you that extra ticket would come in handy. . .” Ulises waved his hands in protest. “Oh no, I don’t want to encroach. . .” “We’v already paid for your ticket,” smiled Dad. “I insist.” Ulises nodded, still looking nervous. Then we finished our snack and then Orion and gave Ulises the “grand tour”. * * * “Welcome, Ulises, nice to finally meet you face to face,” said Mom when she got home from work that evening. “He. . .hello, Mrs . . .MRS. Samuel. . .” Ulises said in a very hesitant manner. “I don’t bite, I assure you,” she said. “I’m sorry,” said Ulises, sweating head to foot, at least, as much as I could see of it. “It’s just that, while it was my father who literally threw me out when I said that I wanted to start seeing a ‘Transition Counciler’, all of the women in my family are the most vocal about people like me, or People of Color, or with Health Issues, or who are in any other way ‘different’.” Mom nodded. “I understand. But I assure you, no one who thinks like that lives here. Or would even be welcome in this house.” I nodded, remembering that at one time Sheila’s parents had come here with the two of us many times, but since I came they had not set foot in the place. “Who’s ready for dinner,” called Orion in an irritated tone from the kitchen. “I haven’t worked on this meatloaf ALL afternoon just to let it get cold while you four stand in the living room chatting.” We all laughed and then headed for the kitchen. * * * “Casey Isaiah Samuel,” MRS. Mount, the principal, read my name as I walked across the stage to receive my diploma to ‘Pomp and Circumstance’. “Orion George Samuel,” my big brother followed me. I knew that he was a little put out at coming after me, since he was eight months older, but his first name was alphabetically later than mine, and since we had the same last name. . . The loudest cheering of all as I accepted my diploma, and he his, came not from our parents but from MR. Hardwall and his reformed followers, I suspected as further penance for their past. MR. and MRS. Cushner, I couldn’t help noticing, sat on their hands pointedly, and wore deep scowls. I gave them a smile and wave, mostly, I’ll admit, hoping to get under their skin, but if I succeeded, they gave no outward sign. Orion gave me a puzzled look and I shrugged and mouthed, “It was worth a try.” He nodded, and then we each returned to our seats as the principal moved into the S es.. * * * When Greg Zygon had accepted his diploma, last of all, they did the usual post walking across the stage stuff, which none of us who had just walked across the stage really cared about, but I guess the parents did, flipped our tassels, and then we all filed out of the auditorium for, what, at least for most of us, would be the last time, changed into our Sunday best and then headed for TorchThe Turkey for the usual post graduation family dinner party. “I don’t want to intrude on a family event,” Ulises had protested after the ceremony when we were back in the car. “Just drop me off at the house and. . .” “Nonsense,” said both of our parents. “You’re part of this family too now. You became part of it when you showed up in our yard. We’ve only been before when one of our sons’ friends graduated ourselves anyway.” Orion and I told him with a look to drop it, because when Dad or Mom called something ‘nonsense’, the discussion was closed. * * * The restaurant was packed, as it always was after graduation, not only with graduates and our families, but younger friends and their families who had come to bid many of us bon voyage, although of course the earliest I would be leaving town was January, because even if I was actualLy through transitioning before the end of Fall Semester, which was far from certain I couldn’t start classes mid-semester. “Where are you going to school, Casey?”asked my defacto little brother. “I’m eventually going to be going to UCLA,” I told him. “But I’m waiting until I’m finished transitioning to actually leave, because going back and forth or starting with a new medical team just seemed to complicate. . .” “Corrupting the next generation,Kaci,” said MR. ad MRS. Cushner, appearing right beside us. “Trying to sway this nice little girl with boys’ haircuts and. . .” “Ulises is as much a Bioy as I am,” I said angrily. “And I don’t recall asking for your opinions MR. and MRS. Cushner.” “Another degenerate eh. . .” they started. I took one look at my little brother’s face. Then my big brother and I exchanged a look, nodded, and stood, as one, muscles tensing, hands starting to ball. “That’s enough out of you,” I said. “Yes,” said Orion. “You are entitled to your opinion, STUPID and incorrect as it is, but when you start being nasty to our Kid Brother. . .” He left the rest unsaid, but Sheila’s parents got the point, closed their mouths, nodded curtly, and walked away. But as they did, I could tell from the look on Dad’s face that we were going to have a Casey Isaiah Samuel and Orion George Samuel talk about this tomorrow. But the rest of that evening, at least, passed jovially and without further incident. * * * “Now boys, I’m sorry, young men,” Dad began when he sat both of us down the next day after breakfast. “Boys is fine,” we both said as one. I, at least, was not ready to start thinking of myself as a young man yet, and I was pretty sure neither was my big brother. “We’ll take boys,” we concluded as one. “Boys , then,” he began again. “Actually,” he suddenly took a much sterner tone and expression. “Orion George Samuel and Casey Isaiah Samuel.” We both sat up very straight as he went on. “I know that remarks like the ones MR. and MRS. Cushner. . .” even our dad was referring to them that way “make you mad, they make me mad too. But threats aren’t going to win over hearts and minds.” “No,” we both agreed, when he had paused long enough that we were sure it was our turn to speak. “They won’t. We both know that.” “Then what was the point of what happened yesterday?” he asked. “Protecting our Kid Brother,” I said. Dad looked genuinely puzzled. “With the look on Ulises’s face when they were being so nasty, that couldn’t go unanswered. Or, well, maybe. . .” I let the rest hang. Orion nodded when Dad looked at him. “The despair in his face was dangerous, Dad. We had to do something.” Dad was silent a long time, then finally nodded, stood, and we boys did the same. “We’ll, Boys, I’m going to say something which may never have escaped my lips before, and don’t get used to it, it may never escape them again. But in the case, you were right, I was wrong.” I didn’t quite know how to process that, and I could tell neither did my big brother. We stood in awkward silence for a moment, until Dad said with a laugh, “Dismissed Boys.” Then we headed back to Orion’s room to talk. * * * “I hope he NEVER calls us ‘young men;’ again,” said my big brother as soon as we were sure that no one would overhear. “Yes,” I nodded. “I’ll take ‘boys’ any day. ‘Boys’ have a lot more fun than ‘young men’.” Orion nodded. “Soo?” he said. “What now? We’re done with high school, but. . .?” I nodded. “The future. . .” The truth was, apart from my revolution, and of course completing my transition, I hadn’t really thought much about post high school. “Well,” I finally said. “You’re going to NYU in the fall, and I’m starting at UCLA next spring, assuming that I’m through transitioning by then.” He nodded. “I guess this summer, while we’re all still in one place, we should do all we can for the central part of the movement, not that it isn’t world wide by now.” I nodded. The Roman Catholic Church had decided that its former stance on LGBTQIA+ people was not in keeping with Scripture, and even the LDS Church seemed headed in that direction. Only a few far right wing radical churches were holding out. Racism, Abilityism, Sexism, Healthiest, Classism, Agism, and Xenophobia had been almost universally rejected. “I’m sorry about your par. . .” my big brother began. But I held up a hand. “OUR dad and mom are my parents. Legally and in my heart. That won’t change even if MR. and MRS. Cushner do at some point see the light.” He nodded, and then we settled in for a full day of video games, comic books, overeating and just general relaxation and fun. * * * Of course, the entire summer was not going to consist of nothing but comic books and video games. There were at least two other things that occupied much of my time. * * * “Our voices are being heard,” I said at a rally, bringing a very reluctant Ulises up on the stage with me. “Racism, Healthism, Gun Nuttery, Abilityism, Classism, Agism and Sexism are things ion the past now. But we need to keep pushing. May whatever Higher Power each of us believes in guide us on our way to getting the people who still tell those like little Ulises here that they are unworthy of love because of who they are, we, I should say, can not help being and did not CHOOSE to be the error of their thinking.” The cheers that went up were almost deafening. Then everyone started chanting “Speech, speech, speech.” I looked at my very young friend and he gave a VERY reluctant nod and stepped up to the mic. “Thank you for your love and support,” was all that he could manage, but everyone seemed to understand. Then we split into smaller groups to make plans for our next big actin. * * * And, of course. . . “What SIZE penis and testicles do I want?” I half screamed, half gasped. “I didn’t know there were . . .” “Perhaps you should step out for a moment, Dear” said Dad, looking at Mom. But she shook her head. “I’ve seen yours many times, and Orion’s enough that he should not be uncomfortable.” Both nodded, then stood, then unbuttoned and unzipped their pants and dropped them and their undershirts. Dad’s penis was REALLY long, almost half way down his thighs. His testicles were much shorter, only about half the length of his penis. Orion’s testicles hung almost as far on his legs as Dad’s penis did on Dad, but his penis was much shorter. “I’d recommend against this,” my big brother pointed to his testicles. “I have to hold them out of the way EVERY time that I sit down on the toilet, and be very careful to not ‘sit down wrong’.” “When I have to sit,” said Dad, pointing at his penis. “This Isn’t great either.” I considered. “I guess a penis about the size of Orion’s and testicles the size of Dad’s,” I finally said. “Wish we could changes ours,” muttered my big brother under his breath, and Dad nodded. “All right then,” said the surgeon. “I’ll put in the order. It could take several weeks yet.” “Where does it come from?” I asked, suddenly astounded that I hadn’t thought of that before. “Is it all artificial or. . .? The doctor nodded. “A common question. We’ll remove a bit of flesh from your forearm to construct your penis. Your testicles and erection will be prosthetic.” “I thought the erection and the penis were, well. . .” I trailed off, uncertain how to finish. He nodded. “In a person born in a male body, they basically are. But for a transgender boy, they are not.” “Will it still be, um, functional?” I finally asked. He nodded slowly. “Eventually yes, but not immediately. Generally, there is a year or so between implanting the penis and implanting the rest, but with your body type, okay, your body specifically, it needs to all be done at once, except the full functionality. Typically, it would be fully functional when implanted, but only after a body has had time to adapt to the penis.” “How long will all of this being done together leave me under?” I finally asked. He hesitated. “Most of the, I’m afraid,” he said. Before I could ask my next question, he held up a hand and answered it. “Yes, being under that long is not without risk, but fr your body, ding the operations at separate times would be even riskier. There will be a team monitoring you the entire time, and if necessary, we will pause the operation and bring you out early.” This satisfied me, though I could tell my parents and big brother were still a little bit nervous at the thought. But I nodded and then we discussed a few of the finer points, stood, shook hands, and Dad and Mom and Orion and I left. * * * “I guess you’ll see them at Thanksgiving,” I told my big brother as we walked to the car. The summer had sped by, and he was leaving for New York in a week. He nodded. “I guess so, Case. And I’m going to work the movement from there too.” All of my peer friends had promised to further advance the movement from wherever they were in school. “Tel Ulises to take good care of my bedroom,” said Orion teasingly, for the umpteenth time. “We will and have, son,” said Mom. He was staying with Ralph’s family temporarily, for our home was not really big enough for five, but it had been agreed to that when my big brother left for college, Ulises would move back in with us and stay in his room except when Orion was home for breaks. “I hope God also guides the surgeons’ hands when they’re um, finishing you, Casey,” said Orion. “In addition to continuing to guide our movement. I’m sorry, maybe ‘finishing’ was a poor choice. . .” his face reddened. But I burst out laughing. “No,” I said, laughing so hard both at the phrase itself and his horror at having used it and then at my laughter that I was almost crying. “Finishing me sounds good. I like it. I’ll be ‘getting finished’ soon.” Then we drove home in silence, except for my continued snickering. Although, I reflected. I had ben told that I would be considered transgendered, and have to continue hormone replacement therapy, for the rest of my life. “Are you alright, Case?” asked my big brother. I shrugged. “Just wish some day I could just be a ‘boy’, not a ‘transgendered boy’.” He nodded sympathetically, but said nothing, for there was nothing to say. Then we rode home in silence. * * * At the airport a week later, we all exchanged a final hug. “You be a good boy, Orion”, chided mom. “But have some fun too,” Dad gave a sly smile. My big brother and I exchanged one of these of our own. Then we all exchanged one last hug and then he turned and walked up the boarding ramp. “There goes our baby,” choked Mom. “Hey,” I teased. “I’m still here.” But I knew what she meant. * * * At the hospital a week later, my parents and I sat across from the scheduler. “So, on Friday, the twelfth,” she said. We nodded. “The same week Ulises is starting counciling,” I noted with a smile. My parents nodded. Then we signed some papers, stood, shook hands, and left. * * * That night at dinner, when we told Ulises the glorious news, he paled. “I’ll have to stay with Ralph’s family that week,” he finally said. “Otherwise, with your finishing the process the same week I’m starting it, Big Bro, I’ll be a total basket case.” I nodded. While I had at first been shocked by his initial reaction, after thinking on it a moment, I had to admit, “I understand,” I finally said. Then the rest of dinner past with only casual conversation. * * * Every day the ranks of the enlightened grew and the ranks of the haters/conservatives/forces of darkness dwindled. But that made those of the latter who were left, which still included MR. andMRS. Cushner, even more militant. But then, less than a week before the time that my final surgeries had been scheduled for, our side scored a home run. “CNN reporting that the head of The LDS Church has just come out as Gay and intends to marry his long time boy-friend IN THE TEMPLE on Thanksgiving Day.” “Well, that’s something to be Thankful for,” we all three said. “I guess The Almighty is indeed guiding us on our way,” said Dad. Then the phone rang, and soon we were discussing the news with my big brother. * * * Two days before the operations, we got together with Ralph’s family and Ulises. “I’m so/SO nervous about starting my own counciling next week,” he had told my parents and I many, many times. “I’d be a basket case staying there just before my top hero’s final surgeries.” I had accepted that I was just going to have to live with my all but legally little brother’s hero worship, but I could tell the moment we walked in the house and saw him that Ulises was clearly very worried about something. He finally got me alone and then said, clearly doing his best to hold back tears, “Casey, OK Case,” I had FINALLY gotten him to start using my nickname. “I’m really, really worried about you spending a whole day under anathema. I know doing all of that at once is what the doctors recommended, but. . .” I seized my Kid Brother, and held him close as words failed him and he began to softly sob into my chest. “There, there Kid,” I stroked his head. “It will be all right. I’ve still got this movement to lead, so I’m sure God won’t take me yet.” He regained at least some composure, pulled away and his deep blue eyes looked right into mine. “I will pray the whole time for the surgeons’ hands to be guided properly on their way,” he said. I nodded. “Thank you. Such prayers have worked so far. See you in a few days with a COMPLETELY boys;’ body, Little Bro.” He laughed. “See you then, Big Bro.” Then we walked back to the others, and Dad and Mom and I headed for home. * * * At the hospital a two days later, which also happens to be the day before my eighteenth birthday, “the BEST BIRTHDAY PRESENT EVER” I had said more than once, the check-in clerk knew us all so well by now that we were on a first name basis. “Well, Casey,” she said. “I guess this is the last we’ll be seeing of you.” “As a patient, yes,” I nodded. “But I consider you all my friends by now too, so I’ll drop in and say high now and then.” She nodded, then handed us the forms. “You know the drill by now, George Helen, and Casey, so I’ll leave you to it.”: We nodded, sat down, and started filling them out. * * * A little over an hour later, I lay on a gurney in an opaque and bare room. “You know the drill, Case” said Fred, my favorite anesthesiologist. I nodded, said a brief prayer in my head for the surgeons hands to be guided properly on their way, then began to count. “One-Hundred, Ninety-Nine, Non eta-eight, Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Six, Ninety-Five, Ninety-Four, Ninety-Three, Ninety-Two, Ninety-One, Ninety, Eighty-Nine. . .” I felt my eyelids starting to droop. Then. . . * * * I am kneeling in a field, but I feel myself enfolded in Holy Arms. Then I hear the voice again. You have done well, Casey Isaiah Samuel, it said. Your mission is nearly over. Your new life is about to begin. Then.. . . END.

A Better Way of Making The Point

‘THE VOICES NO ONE HEARS, PART SIX: EACH A TREASURE BE' Then, I hear the voice again.  -Let your own inner light shine out, Casey Isaiah Samuel, and all of those whom society has cast aside as trash, and told they should dwell in shame, will see that they can each a treasure be-.   -I will, Lord,- I reply. Then the darkness itself screams and explodes, and all around me is nothing but blinding light. * * * “ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, CASEY?” screamed a nurse, a little too close to my face. “Of course,” I replied, still partly encased in the comfort of the vision.  “Why wouldn’t I bee?” “We cut a little closer to your heart than we’d intended, which is why you’re waking up in the E.R., not a recovery room,” she replied.  “But we caught it in time, so everything is fine, if you’re awake and responsive.” Before I could say for certain that everything was FINE, I had to look down.  I saw a totally boy sized chest, with just a little breadth to it, and nodded.   “Yep,” I replied.  “Everything is fine.  Just like I wanted.” She nodded, but made no further comment, and walked away. * * * “So,” I said, walking out of the Emergency Room a few hours later to even more anxious faces than after the first surgery.  You were in TherE.R., not just a recovery room, I reminded myself.  “What do you think of my boyish figure.” Orion ran forward and held me so close he almost took my breath away.   “I’m just glad that you’re alive, Brother.  That was quite a fright.” I saw in the faces of our parents and Sheila that he was not alone in this. “Well,” I said awkwardly.  “I’m sorry that that happened.  But I did survive.  Truth be told, I had another vision as I was going under, and was given a slightly new, although very closely related, mission, so I knew that I would survive, but of course, I  know that none of you had the benefit of that.”   There was a long and awkward silence.  “So?” I repeated, breaking my big brother’s hold and pointing down.  “What do you think?” “I think if I didn’t know that you were born in a girl’s body, Case,” said Sheila.  “I’d have no reason to doubt that you were ever in any sense, including physically, anything but a boy.” The smile I felt that bring on almost stretched my incredibly large nostrils past the outer edges  of my face.  * *.* “So, Casey?” said Dad as we drove home a little over a week later.  With the problem that had arisen during my surgery, the hospital had insisted that I stay long enough for them to be sure there were no lingering problems to worry about.  “Tell us about this vision you had as you were going under.” We had all silently agreed NOT to discuss this at the hospital, for multiple obvious reasons. “Well,” I began.  “I was standing in a sea of darkness, with shadows approaching from all sides.  But I was holding a gigantic candle.  No, scratch that.  I WAS a gigantic candle.  And my beams destroyed all of the shadows and darkness, and there was nothing but light.  And then the voice told me to “Let your inner light shine out, Casey Isaiah Samuel, and then all those whom society has cast aside as trash, who live in shame, will see that they can each a treasure be”, and I said that I would.” “Wow,” said Sheila.  “That’s quite a calling.” “Well,” said Orion.  “You’d best make good on that promise, Kid Brother.  Although we’ve already been doing some things in that direction.” “Yes,” I nodded.  “But I think that this is a call to keep doing the big stuff, but also seek out those who need a more personal, one on one approach, and give it to them.” All nodded, but none of us said any more, for there was nothing more to say until I or we started to find such people. * * * That night, though, I got an idea of where to start looking. I was on my Facebook Page, when I got a message from a person that I had never heard of.  “Hello, Casey Isaiah Samuel,” it began.  “My name is Ulises Zargon, and I am, like you, a transgender boy.  My original name, birth name, was too decidedly female to keep in any form when I decided to embrace my true gender.  Like you, my birth family was not affirming of my decision, but unlike you, I did not have the option of going to live with a friend whose family was affirming.  So, basically.  HELP!  Feel free to share this with all on your team.  Sincerely, Lost.” I read it through twice more, just to be sure that I hadn’t missed anything, then forwarded it to all of my friends, adding a note that I understood we would not be taking any action that night. Although, I did send Ulises a quick note telling him to stay strong and not give up or give in to despair. Then I lay down and tried to go to sleep, although I tossed and turned a long time before I did, and even when I did my sleep was full of THE WORST nightmares that I had ever had.  Until just before dawn, when I had a dream that was akin to my waking visions, and then I knew what we had to do. * * * “So, Case,” said my big brother at breakfast.  “I’m guessing that you read that email before going to sleep, judging from your screams last night.” I nodded.  “Well, you know what that kind of situation can lead to,” I said. Orion and our parents nodded. “But,” I added.  “On a nicer note, just before waking up, I had a dream from above that told me what we and I need to do.  I’ll wait until we can get the whole crew together to share the ‘we’ stuff, but I’ll get started on the ‘I’ ‘stuff right after school.” “Casey,” said Dad.  “It’s Saturday.  You can start right after breakfast.” “I guess that email put me even more out of sorts than I realized,” I said.  I thought a moment.  “And I guess having spent a little more than the past week in the hospital confused my sense of time too.” “I guess so, Son,” said Mom. Dad and Orion nodded, and then we finished our breakfast in silence. * * * Right after breakfast, then, I got to work. I started by sending this desperate boy, whom I sensed from his tone and speaking style was a bit younger than myself (Not that seventeen is that old, but he sounded more thirteen or fourteen) a more detailed note. “Dear Ulises, hang in there Kid.  I know it can be tough.  Just remember, you are a treasure that no one else can be.  I don’t know if you are a person of Faith, or if Faith is part of what your non affirming family is using to bear you over the head with, but the God I believe in does NOT hate Transgender people like us, or anyone else on the LGBTQUIA+ spectrum, or anyone, for that matter, for just being who we  are.  Since I believe we’re all God’s Creation, how could God, whatever God one believes in, hate us, just for being who we were made to be.  So, my recommendation, when those around you start being nasty about who you are, who you did not CHOOSE to be, if possible, remove yourself from that immediate situation, and aloud or silently, just tell yourself ‘I’m a treasure, I’m a treasure, in the eyes of God, or The Universe,’ or whatever you believe in.  Let me know if this was helpful.  And I’ve got a bigger idea that I’m going to get my team on as soon as possible.   Again, hang in there, Kid.  Our day of freedom and their day of reckoning is at hand.  Sincerely, Casey Isaiah Samuel, Messenger.” I read it through twice, then sent it. And then I tried to go about my other business for that day, for even though it was a Saturday, I did have a pretty full day planned, with quite a bit to catch up on after a little more than a week away, but this desperate kid was front and center in my mind all afternoon, and even during dinner, even though it was my favorite, Mac and Cheese with meat and tomatoes.  After dinner, though, I got an email that made me grin ear to ear, and I’m pretty sure did briefly make my snout even wider than my face. “Dear Casey Isaiah Samuel,” it started.  “Thank you very much for your suggestion.  I told myself that ‘I’m a treasure’ every time I was in a bad situation today, and while it didn’t change the external situation, it did change my experience of it.  As you seem to have guessed,, I am quite young.  I just turned fourteen last week.   I really appreciate your support.  Send me any more ideas you alone or you and your team have.  I look forward to hearing from you again, Casey Isaiah, or should I call you MR. Samuel. Sincerely, Starting To Be Found.” I took several mental steps back at even the suggestion of MR. Samuel.  “Just Casey is fine,” I quickly typed back.  “Orion and my dad is MR. Samuel.” Then I ran downstairs to tell Dad, Mom and my big brother the marvelous news. * * * “Great!” they all three cried as soon as I told them.   “Wonderful, Casey,” said Dad and Mom and “Marvelous Case,” said my big brother. “And a week from today is another meeting of our group,” added Orion.  “So we can all brain storm together there.” Since he had given me permission, I had forwarded Ulises’s initial email to our entire group and asked them to be thinking up ideas individually, but said that we would wait until we were all together in person to discuss them. “So, what do we do between now and then?” asked my big brother. “Well,” I said.  I’d been thinking about this for a while, and while I wanted to keep the larger societal transition going, I also had my personal transition to keep up.   “This isn’t really for the revolution, but I’ve been thinking lately about completing my own personal transition.” “Genital reconstruction?” asked all three at once. I nodded.  “And a full hysterectomy.  I mean, I haven’t been having periods since I had been on testosterone for a month or so, but I AM a boy, and I want that all the way.” They all seemed at a loss for words for a while.  Finally, Dad asked “Are you ABSOLUTELY certain, Casey Isaiah Samuel, because that IS irreversible?” I waited to be sure that it was my turn to speak, not wanting to commit a faux pas, but when he said nothing further, I nodded.  “Yes.   COMPLETELY IRREVERSIBLE is what I want.  I AM a boy, and I want to be physically a boy all the way.” Dad and mom nodded.  “We’ll start making some calls Monday, Casey,” said Mom, and Dad nodded. Then we set down for our usual Saturday evening guilty pleasure television binge. * * * The Saturday afternoon a week later was the most animated meeting that we had yet had, since we were discussing how to help a real, specific person, rather than just a general idea of promoting equality for all. “Well, Case” said Sheila.  “You’re idea of telling him to tell himself he’s a treasure in the eyes of whatever God he believes in when he’s in a bad situation seems like a good start.” I nodded. “I didn’t send it out, because he had not expressly given me permission, but that evening I got an email from him that said that he had tried it when he was in bad situations that day, and it had helped.” “Even better,” smiled Teddy.   Oh what a smile. . .  I gave myself a mental shake. You’re here to work, I reminded myself. “But how do we follow it up?” I asked.  “With him, and with others who need a more personal touch.”  I had a thought or two, but I wanted to hear their ideas first. “We could make that a phrase at our rallies,” suggested Dad. “Something like, ‘Everyone who is cast aside and called trash and shamed by society is still a treasure in the eyes of whatever God they believe in, or the Universe,’ if they don’t believe in any’.” “That’s a great idea, Dad,” we all, all the my age crowd at least, Mom said ‘George’ instead said at once, even though he was only actually Orion and my dad. “And when we hear people saying nasty things to people of any age just for being in some way ‘different’, we could say to both ‘you know, they’re a treasure in the eyes of their creator and or the universe’,” added Sheila. “And punch bullies in the mouth,” said Orion.  Before our parents could speak, he held up a hand.  “I’m kidding, I’m kidding.”  Although, I knew, there was a part of him that wanted to not be. No one had any more new ideas at that moment, and Dad and Sheila’s were close enough to the ones I had had to not mention them, so then we talked about how to employ the new ones and keep employing the old ones, then had dinner, broke up, and all went home to start putting our new ideas and keep putting our old ones to work. Although all that I had the energy left to do when we got home was brush my teeth band go to bed. * * * “We have an appointment tomorrow after school with a urologist, Casey Isaiah Samuel, to start discussions of your um, below the waist surgeries” said Dad after picking my big brother and I up from school a week and a half later.  “And she wants us ALL four there, Orion.” Orion nodded, looking puzzled but not upset. Then my big brother looked right at me.  “Casey,” he said.  He got my full attention then, as he always did when he used my full first name.  “Pauline and I have four tickets for ‘Captured on Venus’, a week from this Friday evening, if you and Teddy would like to join us.  I know you’re not wanting to spend too much time on personal stuff, other than completing your transition, but you can’t have missed the way he looks at you, and you could just call it paying him back for ‘Star Battle’.” I thought a moment.   “I’ll ask him,” I finally said.  “That’s all I can promise.’ My big brother nodded.  “Of course.” Then we drove home in silence. * * * “WOW!  What a ride,” I said as we left my appointment the next day.  I didn’t know what else to say. “Yes,” was all Mom could manage, and Dad and Orion seemed unable to speak at all. * * * “I’m still fully committed to it,” I told my friends on Monday at school.   “But the final bit of the physical transition is quite a lot to take in, especially since DR. Felps, the one whom I saw when I started this process and have been seeing routinely since, whose been my guide, I guess you could say, throughout all  of the process,” I added the last after the blank looks on the faces of all of my friends at the name, “is recommending a full hysterectomy and general reconstruction all at one time.” “That sounds like an awfully long operation for one surgeon, Casey” offered Sheila. “Actually,” I said, noting the concern the full name marked.  “There will be at least two surgeons, because it is actually two separate operations.  Three in a way, although two are almost if not always done together.” “Isn’t being under that long dangerous?” asked Paul, concern mirrored in his handsome face. I nodded.  “It’s not without risks.  But, apparently, something in my body makes it even more dangerous to change part, but not all, of my reproductive system.  So they are going to change it all at once.” “So?” asked Ralph.  “When’s the big day?” I stared at him.  “Do you remember how long it was between the first appointment  and when I got this gorgeous mug,” I pointed to my INCREDIBLY attractive boy’s face.  “Or these,” I pointed to my boy sized breasts.  “This was a first meeting.  We won’t even start talking about scheduling for weeks if not months.” “I guess you’ll be going to college locally, then, Case” said Paul. I hesitated.  I hadn’t shared this with anyone yet, apart from VERY privately, by necessity, with Dad and Mom,  but it couldn’t be hidden any longer.   “I’ve been accepted at UCLA, but I’m deferring enrollment until I’m finished transitioning.   It just seemed simpler that way.” They initially all looked shocked, but then nodded. “That makes sense, Case, I’ll grant you,” said Sheila. “And now, after Graduation, for at least a little while, I can give all of my other energy to the movement.” “And may all who some parts of society currently tell are trash, and dwell in shame, because of who they are realize that they can each a treasure be,” said Pauline. I nodded, and we all stood and put our hands together.  “We pledge to do as Casey Isaiah Samuel’s Vision Commanded and show all of those whom society has labeled trash and said should live in shame because of who they are, about which they did not have a choice, that they can each a treasure be.” Then we sat down and finished our meal, then headed for our afternoon classes. * * * After school Monday afternoon, I asked Teddy about Friday. “I’m sorry, Case,” he said, and he TRULY looked it.  “But I have another commitment that evening.  But, some other time, I’d love to get ‘repaid’”. “Okay,” I said.  To be honest, I felt more relieved than upset, because I wanted to focus all of my non self transitioning efforts and energy on transitioning humanity, but had felt that it would be rude to flatly refuse my big brother.  “I’ll come up with something else some time.” I hoped that that would be the end of it, though, because while I did REALLY LIKE Teddy, I didn’t really have time for romance. * * * “So?” asked Orion as soon as I got in the car. I shrugged.  “He said that he was sorry, and TRULY looked it, but he has another commitment this Friday, but he said he. . .” I stopped there.  “Why don’t you ask Ralph and Paul.  I know it’s not quite the same as your Kid Brother, but. .  .” I trailed off, uncertain how to finish the sentence. Orion nodded.  “I will.   I don’t want those tickets to go to waste.” Then we rode the rest of the way home in silence. * * * Ulises and I continued to correspond several times a week, although he had started simply signing his emails, ‘Found’.  The smile that creased my face the first time I saw that. . . “Wow, Casey,” said Orion.  “I knew your SNOUT was big, but I didn’t know it could get wider than your whole face.” I had looked in a nearby mirror, seen that he was right, and for the first time been glad that I did not have a penis and testicles yet.   “Well,” I had said.  “I just got an email from Ulises signed simply, ‘Found’. Orion had given the biggest smile that I had ever seen him wear, making me even gladder. * * * But the best news of all came just a few days before graduation, when MR. Hardball went on live, national, prime time, network television, along with some of his at one time unwilling to change members who had had a change of heart, although it did not include my birth parents, MR. and MRS. Cushner, as I now called them, to make an announcement. “To all those whom my former church once persecuted, and all whom society has cast aside as trash and said should live in shame simply for being who they are, who they were made to be, I wish to apologize.  And to say that to God, as I now believe in God, or whatever higher power each of you believe in, you not only can each a treasure be, you already ARE a treasure, and anyone who tells you otherwise is not worth your time.  To Every single Human Being on this planet, Each A Treasure Be.” “WOW!” We all said as Dad turned off the television and we each prepared to get ready for bed.   “I never thought even I’d live to see the day when he said that on Live, National, Prime Time, Network television, even with his interactions with our group,,” I said. “Yes,” said Mom.  “And where he leads, others will follow.  Maybe some day soon every human being on this planet will realize that they are a treasure, even the MOST currently societally downtrodden and shamed.” I nodded, and then we all headed off to our bed rooms. * * * But that night, as I knelt by my bed and said my prayers, I added a little.  “Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to show all of your children, even the most ‘different’ the truth, and help me to continue to show them that they, and ALL humans, can ‘Each A Treasure Be’.  Amen.” END

This is The Point

Many of my family and friends who are fellow Liberals frequently say "What's the point of saying anything when our Conservative family and/or friends make nasty remarks about people who are different than temselves? I'm never going to change their minds anyway." First of alll, let's dispense with the obvious. You are right, you are NEVER going to change their minds, because all every Conservative in the world have in their heeads are computer chips controlld by The Conservative Central Computer to ensure that they never beieve, do or say ANYTHING that is not strictly towing the party line on any subject at all, whatsoever, period, and don't think at all. But I say there is still a point in speaking up when they make such remarks, particularly when it is in a pubic placce. Somewhere in that restaurant, or arena, or whatever, is an "innocent" impresionable, defenseless child or youth who belongs to one or more of the groups that they are throwing hatred at, and that "innnocent", impresssionable, defenseless child or youth has already heard that kind of remark against people like them one too many times and already has, figurativelyy sopeaking, one foot over the cliff. If the last word they hear that evening is your family member or friend's word of hatreed, they will go home and put the other foot over the cliff. If, however, they hear a word of love or at least hope and encouragement afterwards by you in some sense rebuking your family member or friend, they will go home, withdraw their foot from the cliff and have a chance to grow up. THey may grow up to find the cure for cancer, or they may grow up to do nothing at all unusual with their lives, but they will grow up, and every child and youth deservves a chance to grow up, and your silence or your speaking up could be what decides if they do or do not. And THAT is the point of speaking up against hate, even when it comes from family and friends.

NO MORE SILENCE

The voices of those whom the Haters have silenced for the whole of Human History SHALL at last be heard.

Hate is on its way out!

THe days of those who send out bhae and hateful words to INNOCENT, IMPRESSIONABLE defenceless CHILDREN AND YOUTH, just because they are in some way "different" are numbered, and in no more than the low triple digits. Actually, Bed Time Boy take the word "defencelss" back. They're not defenceless. They've got ME/BED TIME BOY.

My new story, actually, collection of short novels, probably all published within one cover, will show what hmophobes really want to do to we homosexuals, even though they may, at least most of them, have the sense not to say it out loud. I might publish a sample here when it is ready,but the full book I will only publish as an E and or print book.

FIGHT THE HATERS

Conservatives/Republicans want to kill all people who are in any way, shape or form different, just for being different, in a mad quest to make all of humanity exactly the same and call that equality. IT IS WELL PAST HIGH TIME that those of us who are or who care about others who are different, started standing up, speaking up and speaking out against such unwarrented hatred.