THOSE THAT LIVE BY THE GUN

THOSE THAT LIVE BY THE GUN BY MATTHEW LUCAS BECKETT “The only defense against a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun,,” said Bulethead Caliber Assaulrifle, President of The Nutty Revolutionary Anarchists on THE CONSERVATIVES RULE AND LIBERALS DROOL Television Network. “So, all you Good Guys out there, go out and buy all the guns you can, RIGHT NOW.” Charles switched off the television. “Well, I'm off to the gun store,” he told his wife, Hesla. “I'm coming too,” she said. “I might some time face a bad guy when you're not around.” “Fine,” said Charles. When they got to the gun store, however, the line was out the door, around the block, across the street and at least halfway down the next block. “Might as well get in it,” said Hesla Gunhand. Charles Gunhqnd nodded. Ten hours later they walked from the gun store, packing heat in a major way. Charles had an automatic assault rifle on both hips, a hunting rifle slung across his back and a fully loaded 200 caliber pistol in each hand. Hesla wore two 400 caliber pistols on each hip, four shot guns across her back and held one assault rifle in her left hand and two in her unusually large right hand. Others they passed on the street heading out of the various stores and those they passed still on their way in looked very envious. Suddenly, there was a cry behind them. Whirling, they saw a man lifting a bag from a woman standing by the open trunk of a car. Both instantly pointed all of their hand held guns at the man. “Drop the bag, Sir,” they both said. “There will be no stealing today. We're the good guys with the guns.” “Wait,”the man woman cried out. “We're. . .” Suddenly there was a click behind Charles and Hesla. “Drop the guns, both of you. You will not be robbing this couple. Not while this good guy has a gun.” Then there was a third set of clicks. “There will be no bad guys with guns doing any killing today. I'm the real good guy with a. . .” There was another click. “No bad guys will be doing any shooting today. The Good Guys with the guns are here to save the day.” There was a one more set of five clicks. “All of you bad guys with guns stand down, or The Real Good Guys with Guns, us, will. . .” Suddenly, the woman that had been holding the bag swooned and the man took a step towards her. Charles and Hesla shot, and then everyone was shooting. The four other sets of clicks first, but then everyone in the crowd that had bought their guns already and those that had brought their weapons from home. When the police arrived a short time later, they found everyone in the crowd lying dead, including Charles and Hesla and the man and woman, whose IDs revealed they had been husband and wife and that the bag contained heavy groceries, which he had presumably been trying to help her with.