THE RICH GET FAT WHILE THE POOR DIE

STARVE THE POOR TO FEED THE RICH BY MATTHEW LUCAS BECKETT. The Speaker's gavel came down. “The Tax Relief for those who for too long have been asked to shoulder too much of our Nation's Democrat Nanny State is passed again, with two-thirds in the “I”s, and so becomes law despite President Nanny's veto. No longer will we punish success and use successful people's success to reward laziness.” Lowell Lovemoney flipped off his TV., satisfied. “At last, my hard earned money won't go to feeding people who refuse to get off of their rear ends and just get a job.” There was a budget deficit at the time, and so the tax cut had been paid for by ending The Food Stamps Program. “Yes,”said his wife, Tightwad Pennypinch Lovemoney. “At last, those people will starve to death, as they deserve to, and we can use our money, our hard earned money, as WE see fit.” “Well then,” said their ten year old son Greenback. “I want a yacht for my eleventh birthday.” “Of curse, dear,” said his mother. “And lessons in its use, I presume.” “Obviously,” said Greenback. That evening, The Lovemoneys ate a seven course banquet, and when they saw a homeless man looking through their trash for scraps later, they shot and killed him, then burned his body along with a food stamps effigy. “Democrats call this new way of doing business 'Starve The Poor To Feed The Rich' said Speaker Mitus Moneyheart Goldhead a few days later. “Fine. The poor deserve to starve. It's their own fault they're poor. If they just worked hard, they'd be rich too. Which is why the rich deserve to be fed.” Many of the poor did starve to death, but no one minded much, because, they said, “it wasn't really worth speaking of.” Greenback Lovemoney got his yacht and the accompanying lessons for his eleventh Birthday, but within two months of the gift, he had grown so fat from all the extra food his parents bought now that they had next to no taxes, “The Army, that's all the government should really do” that he could no longer stay upright on it. His parents built a full gym in his wing of their mansion and hired a full time personal trainer, and while he didn't particularly enjoy either, when he was eleven and a half, he was able to return to the yacht, which he did like. Meanwhile, Lowell's High End Home Security System business was booming, for with no other support, many more of the poor than used to had taken to begging on the streets, and his clients wanted to be sure that these “bums” stayed on the street, “where they belonged” and did not invade their home turf. “That's good for us,” said Tightwad when her husband mentioned this. “And Greenback seems to be doing well in his lessons here and at school, so this summer we can finally do that cruise we've talked about for years.” “Yes,” Lowell nodded. “I've already made a few calls and inter-net searches, but we should all three sit down and talk soon. . “ He was interrupted by a knock at the door. “Can you spare a little food,” said a very sick and thin looking man at the door. “I wouldn't bother you, but my baby girl ain't eaten in three days and she's close to death.” “As she deserves,” said Lowell. “If you, her father, weren't too lazy to work. . .” The man straightened. “MR., for your information, I've worked hard every day of my life since I was fifteen years old. But when all you can afford is a High School Education, the jobs don't pay that much. When there was help available, we were doing all right,but now that that's gone so people like you can have two yachts in your back yard, well, we can not make it on the salaries of my own and my wife's harder work than you've ever even dreamed of alone. I'm just asking for a little basic human decency, sir, and I'd appreciate being treated like a human be. . .” Suddenly, there was a pop and the man's eyes went wide as a bullet lodged right under his heart. Lowell looked around to see Greenback blowing a smoking hunting rifle as the man dropped dead on their porch. “He was bothering me,” said Greenback simply. With some effort they got the man's body into a pile of trash and lit both on fire. “Starve the poor, and then burn them, to feed the rich indeed,” said Lowell Shadowman Lovemoney with a smile, and he went back into the house.