THE RIGHT TO BEAR BRAINS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED

THE RIGHT TO BARE BRAINS SHALL NOT BE INFRINGED BY MATTHEW LUCAS BECKETT The mood was contentious and extremely tense as the vote began. At first, sensible Democrats were hopeful. “Surely, just requiring people purchasing a gun at a Gun Show to go through the same background checks as a gun store purchaser is something everyone could agree to. The only people that would adversely effect are criminals and the mentally unstable, whom everyone agrees should not have guns.” But, as the votes began to come in from The Republican side of the isle, it became clear the The Nutty Rebellious Anarchists Official Campaign of LIES, DECEPTION AND FACT MANIPULATION had had an effect. Several referred to the rumored registry as they cast their neigh votes, even though the text of the actual bill specifically banned such a registry, as several Sensible Democrats had tried to get through their Republican Colleagues solid granite skulls. Eventually, when it became clear that the Republican filibuster could not be broken, the Democratic Majority Leader called for an end to the voting, knowing that if it went all the way, the bill could not be brought up again, while this way it could. “So, to the mentally ill and those with criminal histories, we say, just go to the gun shows and you can get whatever you want,” the majority whip muttered under her breath as they all filed out of The Senate Chamber. “We did it,” Senator Rob Armory raved like the lunatic that he is on TV. that night. “We stopped the government from taking away every Americans' God Given Second Amendment Right to own any gun or guns they want.” People who had lost loved ones to gun violence turned their TVs off after that. A few days later, at the Phoenix Gun Show, a man with a wild look in his eyes walked up to a dealer. “Hello, I need to buy a gun,” he said. “What kind of gun would you like?” the dealer asked, looking not the least bit concerned at the man's mad looking eyes. “Something powerful,” said the man. “I just got out of Prison, and there are government agents and aliens trying to get into my home and read my mind twenty-four-seven.” “How about an M16 with an expanded clip,” the dealer offered. “That would be great,” the man said, looking wildly around. “And hurry, they're coming to get me right now.” He opened his wallet and pulled out three one-hundred dollar bills. The dealer took the money. “What were you in prison for?” he asked conversationally. “Murder and armed robbery,” the man answered without skipping a beat. “Did you do it?” the dealer asked, taking the requested gun out of its glass case. “Yes,” the man replied. “OK, here you go MR...?” “I'd rather not say, as I am number one on The F.B.I.'s, C.I.A.s and Interpol's most wanted lists,” the man replied, looking nervous. “Very well, here you go, Sir,” said the dealer,handing him the requested gun. The man took it and then ran from the show room without further comment. The next day at The Capital, Rob Armory and others were still basking in their recent victory. “I love seeing Democrats cry,” he said. “'Oh, those poor children, and if. . .'” he did a mock sniff. “'If he'd had to go through a back ground check..oh, no,, wait, it was his mother's gun. Still, if there were background checks at gun shows, we could prevent,oh, woe is us, some tragedies.' When all they really want is to control every aspect of our lives.” He heard a click and looked up to see the man, pointing his new gun straight at him. “You've been screwing my wife,” the man said. “That's why she left me. And you're the one whose been sending government and alien probes into my home and even into my mind. Prepare to die.” Without another word and before anyone could act, the man emptied a whole cartridge into Senator Rob Armory's head, and when Emergency personnel arrived, wrestled the man to the ground and took him away, there was no point in even calling an ambulance.