FIRE AT WILL

BY MATTHEW LUCAS BECKETT “The Second Amendment is Sacred,” declared Nutcase Rebellious Anarchist, head of The Organization that bore his name. “All of the rest of The Constitution and our Nation's other laws were made by men. But: 'The Right To Bear Arms' came directly from God Himself. So no one may question it in any way.” “You tell 'em Nutcase,” shouted Firehand Triggerfinger at the figure on the bar's TV.. “That's what we need in this country, more people to understand that it is a GOD GIVEN RIGHT, to be able to buy and carry any weapon we want.” “But without The First Amendment,” his sister's boy-friend Mark pointed out. “You wouldn't be able to express that view if the people currently in charge disagreed with you, so it is at least as if not more import. . .” Suddenly, Mark's eyes went wide as Firehhand put a revolver to his large belly and pulled the trigger. “The Second Amendment is all that matters,” declared Fiehand as he kicked Mark's body out of his way and left the bar. “Would you sign this petition for American born Latinos' Right to Vote,” a woman asked him as she approached him right outside the bar. “No,”” Firehand said. He pulled out his revolver and shot her in the face. “There is only one Right that matters. The Right to Keep and Bear Arms.” As he walked down the street, he saw a large crowd outside the new abortion clinic. There were people chanting “Right to Life” others telling them to be quiet, and some of them shouting back “Right To Protest.” “Life and Protest are not Rights that matter either,” said Firehand. He emptied his revolver into the crowd and many fell. The rest scattered. He spat. “All these irrelevant Rights. Only one Right matters.” “Order in the Court, order in the court,” he heard to his left. Looking in, he saw a boy on the witness stand. He stopped to listen in as an attorney finished asking the boy a question. The boy hesitated, then said. “Your Honor, Members of The Jury and attorneys, although I am under eighteen, I believe that I still have Constitutional Rights. Therefore, I invoke my fifth Amendment Right against self incrimina . . .” The boy stopped as Firehand's bullet shattered his head. “Only one Right matters,” said Firehand, then walked on. “Well, what's going on here,” he said, passing a boarded up building with a lot of women and minorities gathered around it. “The company is cheating us,” one of them said. “So we are going on Strike until they grant us Equal Protection under The Law, which we have a Right. . .” The speaker's eyes went wide as Firehand's bullet connected with her temple. “There is only one Right that matters, The Right To Keep and Bear Arms.” “Hold on there son,” said a burly Police Officer appearing out of nowhere. “That doesn't mean you can just walk down the street shooting anyone who annoys you. I'll take that gun.” “NO ONE IS TAKING AWAY MY SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS,” shouted Fireand, shooting the police officer on the spot. “MY gun is MINE, AS GOD INTENDED, and that is all that matters.” Then he kissed his gun and walked home.